In Absentia: Tiffany Eason, Marcus Rostlund

Homework for Tuesday January 23rd, 2001: Read Chapter 4 in The Craft of Clarity and do the exercises on page 54. The exercises should be typed in either a Microsoft Word or Rich Text (RT) format and saved to a disk. Bring the disk to class. We will be meeting in the computer lab in room 202. 

Dr. Adams went over wordiness, redundancy, vagueness, prepositional phrases, abstract or long words, relative clauses, dangling modifiers, mixed metaphors and subservient or ‘Weasel’ words. 

Notes from class:

• Short sentences widen your targeted audience. 
• Complex sentence example: When I hit my dog, I went to lunch. ‘When’ makes the clause subordinate. Adding ‘and’ after dog makes the sentence compound.
• Dependent clauses usually are deeper in the body of writing, not in the beginning.
• Prepositional phrase shows place or direction. Examples: into, on, within, about, over, through, etc. Prepositional phrases should be replaced with adjectives whenever possible. For example instead of saying ‘over the hill’, use the adjective ‘older’. 
• Modifiers should be as close as possible to the subject of the sentence. 
• Relative Clauses- Begin with words such as that, which, or who. ‘Who’ is animate and ‘which’ is inanimate. That and which-‘ which’ is used when subject is known and ‘that’ is used when subject in unknown. ‘Which’ is non-restrictive and ‘that’ is restrictive.
• Rule of thumb= always use who when referring to a person.
• Redundancy examples= I killed him dead. He brushed his own teeth. Using the past tense more than once. 
• Mixed metaphors keeps things imprecise. Example: Make like a tree and ‘get the hell out of here’. Mixing  ‘Make like a tree and leave’ and ‘get the hell out of here’
• Subservient or ‘Weasel words’ are words that are apologetic. Examples are: almost, knowing that, perhaps, might, seems, maybe, a little (bit), relatively, almost, like, kind of. 

The last portion of class we went over exercises in chapter 3 in Craft of Clarity. Each student was assigned one sentence and asked to verbally correct it. 

Dr. Adams instructed the class to bring all homework (unless otherwise notified) in on disk.

Class Absences: Chad Messer and Tiffany Eason

Dr. Adams handed out a worksheet and explained the business style of a letterhead should look like this example given in class:  (the sender’s address, date, the receivers address and the heading)

 P.O. Box 3171
 Cullowhee, NC 28723
 January 25, 2001
 (4 spaces)
 

 Ms. Mary Adams
1917 Mockingbird Lane
Webster, NC 28753
(2 spaces)

Dear Ms. Adams:

Next Dr. Adams talked about Active and Passive voice in Chapter 4 of The Craft of Clarity; she also picked examples and made the corrections for review.  The class broke into groups and worked on the handout given at the beginning of class, to fix the “be” verbs and rewrite.  An example was given on the board to illustrate how to avoid “be” verbs in our writing.

Homework for Tuesday 1/30:
1. Exercises for chapter 4 (off webpage)
2.  Read 3 Genres pgs. 139-205

In absenta:  Eason, Landingham, Messer, and Reeves were not present.
Procedures for leaving the computer technology classroom:  Dr. Adams informed us that all the computers and over-head machine(s) must be shut down properly before exiting the classroom.

Procedures for placing class assignments in the class drop folder:  Dr. Adams demonstrated to  the class how to turn in our assignments electronically.  Instructions are the following:
 

1. Do not drag and drop documents.
2.  *When on campus, Copy homework assignment.
3. After accessing My Documents, go the Appserver.
4. Click on  classes.
5. Select English 303.02
6. Access the drop folder.
7. Paste the document in the folder.
8. *When off campus, access Netscape to WIN system (www.wcu.edu).
9. Click on the Appserver, and log in (Social Security number and Birth date).
10. Select class.
11. Click on the drop option.
12. Select HW document (make sure to save as all files).
13. Place the HW document in the drop folder.

1. Sophisticated Fiction- original plot and character transformation.
2. Elements of Fiction- scenes, avoid formula, chronology, and inner and outer conflict. 
3. Characterization-simple and complex characters.
4. Setting- connection to theme, commonplace, and vivid descriptions 
5. Theme-a generalization about life or character that is derived from the resolution of the conflict
• Avoid morals and clichés
• Are often ambiguous.

Dr. Adams did not take roll. 

Dr. Adams began class with a guest speaker: Rick Boyer who discussed conflict and other aspects of fiction writing. 

Boyer defined the following: 
Conflict:  an obstacle, the best ones are subtle; for example: families 
Plot:  something that can keep the audience without analyzing and re-analyzing 

He also discussed and used Shakespeare to describe how fiction should be written with both style and content.  Boyer also said that “great stories use questions”. 

Dr. Adams resumed class by giving out a hand-out in regards to Thomas Lux who is speaking February 1st at 7:30 in the Coulter Auditorium.  The homework (Fiction Invention) was discussed and individuals were questioned about the progress. 

Dr Adams then proceeded to discuss several terms and ideas.  First, was about why the characters change and why some are complex.  Second, was two-dimensional characters and what that meant.  Third, was the difference between drama and melodrama.  Last we looked at tension and setting. 

The homework for February 6th is to look at page 191 in Three Genres and develop scenes for our short stories.  For February 13th we are to “flesh out” our characters and provide a list.  Dr. Adams also said a rough draft would be due in a few weeks. Also, do the reading assigned on the syllabus (233-253 3G;107-112 COC). 

In absentia: Austin Freeman, Rebecca Reeves

Homework for Thursday February 8, 2001: Drill posted on the web page for Chapter 7 in The Craft of Clarity.

Dr. Adams discussed characterization, dialogue, and red flags.  At the end of class she checked our homework from over the weekend. 

Notes from class:
 

• Complex characters (3D)
• Simple characters (2D)
• Exaggerate or change a character that is based on someone you know in order to have distance from that character.
• “Tell the truth but tell it slant” – Emily Dickinson. 
• Use characteristics that real people have. 
o Talkativeness
o Verbal tick
o Personal language
o Obsessive ness
o Cigarette smoking
o Nervous habits- chewing shirt sleeves
o Ways of dress- all in black, not their age, bowties
o Ways of walking- slow, strutting, limping
o Eating habits- breaking food into little pieces
o Talking habits- talking low or close, telling long boring stories
o Bad breath
o Too much cologne, annoying lip gloss smells
o Narcissism
o Allergies
• Formative Traumas- traumatic events that have shaped the character’s life
o Being left at a camp ground by parents.
o Attacked by a dog
o Abuse- psychological, physical, sexual
o Loss of a loved one
o Getting arrested or witnessing a crime
o Being picked on at school
o Eating disorders
• Reveal Characters by:
o Dialogue
o Actions
o Narrator’s description
• Dialogue: o Dr. Adams gave us a handout--a transcript of a conversation with a victim of abuse.

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

o Use dialogue sparingly, for three reasons:

§ To reveal characters personalities
§ To slow down moments of suspense
§ Use at climactic scenes
• Red Flags: Using unnecessary words that can be replaced by simpler words

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

§ Upon – replaced by on
§ Numerous- many
§ Hopefully- I hope, or I should
§ Foreign phrases that can be replaced with English
§ In order to – to
§ Prior to- before
§ One- they, the students, we

• Don’t use ‘weasel words’

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

§ I feel- replace with ‘I know’ or ‘I believe’

• Don’t use the continuous present or continuous past

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

§ She is enjoying
§ She was traveling

• Don’t use double negatives

Week 6

Week 7
Tuesday, Feb 20 Johnson (minutes taker) absent. 
Thursday, Feb 22 No Class. 

Dr. Adams took role and introduced Dr. Mimi Fenton, who sat in and observed class.  Dr. Adams then collected hard copies of the manuscripts of the short story.  The final portfolio, due at the end of the semester was discussed. Dr. Adams said to make sure to keep and date all returned materials for the portfolio.  Example portfolios turned in by past students were shared to give an idea of what is expected. The class then edited the Chapter 4 action verbs assignment that had been graded and returned. The remainder of the class period was used to revise press releases, which when finished, should be placed in the directory Classes\ENGL303.02\Drop\New Folder\.  Examples of key problems with press releases were provided at http://www3.wcu.edu/~madams/303pr_1.html with hyper links to a description of how to fix each problem.

Absent: Johnston, Caruso, Brewer, Ackerman, and Pat Williams. 

Dr Adams supplies the class with a handout entitled “Common Proofreading Symbols”.

Dr Adams briefly discussed “Politics and the English Language”, the text of which is available on the class web page.

1. Euphemism – “Finding language to defend the indefensible.” – Orwell

a. list of euphemisms for death
b. list of euphemisms for murder
c. list of euphemisms for sex
d. list of euphemisms for “getting fired”

2. The use of euphemism in politics was discussed.

Craft of Clarity ch 5 “An Appearance of Honesty”

1. Appearing to be honest by diverting attention

a. the myth of 110%
b. the ‘war’ metaphor for cancer.

2. Discussion of political euphemism

a. University language and jargon
b. Corporate jargon
c. Political correctness

Dr. Adams spoke on emotion and embellishments and why not to use them in real communication, especially underlining, italicizing, caps, and exclamation points.

She also talked about the

• Importance of being to-the-point and specific.
• Importance of not interpreting or editorializing.
• The news should be more important that the reporter.
• The importance of complete accuracy when quotations are used.

On Tuesday we will discuss the midterm exam that will be given on Thursday.
 

Week 9

In absentia: Ackerman, Brewer, and Messer.

Dr. Adams discussed the difference between Copyediting and Proofreading:

Copyediting: Usually done to the first copy of the paper, it is double-spaced, leaving room for editing marks. A copy editor should also suggest alternate ways to write incorrect statements.

Proofreading: One of the last stages of writing.  It is single spaced to save room and to estimate size of final copy.  It is not going to receive as many proof marks as rough draft.  To proofread
1. Draw a line down the middle.
2. Make marks in the text 
3. Explain editing marks in the margins

Two handouts very given: One was on style, sentence-level, editing, and editing marks, and the other was a study guide for the test.

The midterm will be a take home exam and should be turned in to Dr. Adams before 5 o’clock on Friday March 9th.

Dr. Adams went over the test handout. 
Corrections, the 6% to the right of Style should be 60%. 

The right answers to the sample questions are as follows:
1. Redundant
2. It’s wrong, The Industrial Revolution took place in the early 1800’s 
3. Passive verb, 
4. Redundant, weasel word
5. Opinion, redundant
6. Fudge marks

Part II. Editing 40%: The correct version should read:

What is the difference between silicon, silicone, and silica?  This article will tell you.  Silicon is Earth’s most abundant element.  Silicon can act as an electrical semiconductor, which makes it indispensable.  Silica, which takes their name from the Latin silex or “hard flint,” are polymers--compounds formed of semi-repeating molecules—and industry uses polymers for a range of purposes.  Because silicon dries and dehumidifies so well, we often pack delicate instruments in it.

Electronic editing will be mentioned on Tuesday March 20, after spring break. 

In Absentia:  Ackerman, Landingham

Survey responses were passed out for the Alumni Profiles.  The class was asked to prepare a 250 or more word profile if possible.

An example can be seen on p. 268 of How to Write It.  Dr. Adams discussed the importance of using a good lead, including descriptive leads and question leads.  Keeping the lead short is also good.  She showed how to access “14 leads based on the same press release” from the web page, illustrating many approaches to the same story.

Week 11

Class absences:  Dr. Adams most likely took attendance. 

Homework from previous class:  We had been asked to have our profiles finished.  However, this deadline was pushed back to Tuesday.

2 Types of letters covered:  Dr. Adams started her lecture by mentioning that we were going to cover both request letters and bad new letters.

1. Before we could talk about the types of letters she explained that knowing the audience that your addressing, what your relationship to them is, and how much resistance do you expect is important.
2. She mentioned that there were actually 4 types of business letters.  These business letters were either routine/good news, routine requests, bad news, or persuasion letters
3. She asked the class if they had written a business letter recently.  When students replied Dr. Adams placed the letters in the appropriate category.

Persuasion letters:  The first area of letter writing concerned the format involved when writing a persuasion letter.  Dr. Adams listed four key elements to this type of letter and in the order in which they should appear, which had been nicknamed “AIDA”.

1. Attention:  generating interest in your message/ to imply that your request should be granted/ address a common problem/ ask a question/ use praise
2. Interest:  give information on how your product relates to the person/ admit your possible fault
3. Desire:  make it seem as though your doing a favor/ appeal to that persons need for attention
4. Action:  closing paragraph that lists what you want to happen/ postage paid envelope/ when you want action to take place. 

Bad news letters:  Dr. Adams continued with typical things that one might see in a rejection letter.

1. Buffer statement:  something geared at making one initially feel better about rejection.  Example:  thank you for applying
2. Reasons for rejection:  Example: many qualified people applied
3. Subordinate bad news:  frame entire statement in a positive light 
4. Closing:  a gesture of good will and then get out
5. If done correctly the person receiving the letter in not upset but is in fact grateful at your honesty J

What you don’t write in a bad news letter
1. Don’t accuse, threaten, or blame them
2. Avoid words like won’t, can’t, refuse, decline, no, never, fire, expel, or kill
3. In your closing don’t apologize or refer to news
4. Don’t invite a reader to respond to the news this just re-opens the request

Class exercise:  We were asked to write a persuasion letter. When finished with the letter we exchanged them with other students and wrote rejection letters to their requests.

Homework:  Dr. Adams handed back our short stories and reminded us to bring our letters and short stories in on Tuesday.
 

Week 12

In absentia: Ackerman, Brewer

We were asked to bring in our profiles on disk to put in a web page form. 

Dr. Adams gave the procedures for making a word document into a Web Page.

1. Open profile in MS Word, then minimize.
2. Open Netscape Communicator (keeping both open at the same time is more convenient)
3. On the Netscape page go to File and click New, then Blank Page.
4. On the Blank Page click on the Table button.
 Set up the Border for the Table, it should include: 
A. 1 column 
B. Border line width = 0 pixels
C. Table width = 600 Pixels then click OK
5.Go back to your word document.
6. Go to Edit then Select all, back to Edit and then Copy. 
7. With all your information copied go back to your Web Page and click Edit and then Paste your profile inside the Table and onto web page
8. Now that your profile is on the Web Page, everyone must agree on a Font. First we agreed on Arial, but then changed it to Verdana. The size was 10 point. 
9. Take out the regular indented paragraph and make it Block style.
10. Center after adding an eye-catching title, the name of the person profiled, and who wrote it.

After this we saved it to the share file, under English alumni profile, and took turns checking each other’s profile for expletives and “be” verbs. After it was agreed that the profiles were done we saved them to the Drop folder.

Homework: Thursday bring Three Genres and corrected drafts of your persuasion and rejection letters. You can go to the links on the English 303 home page to help make corrections to your short story, because you will need it again at the end of the semester. 

Week 13

Class Absences - Attendance was not taken

Homework from previous class - No HW was assigned from the previous class.

Proofread Letters - Students passed around persuasive letters and bad-news 
response letters for other students to proofread.  Students were to look 
for-
1- Stylistic and Grammer issues
2- Comma splices and comma usage
3- Be-verbs
4- AIDA (persuasive format)
             Attention
              Interest
              Desire
              Action
5- Bad News Format
-buffer
-reasons
-subordinate
-goodwill close

Homework- Read "Hello Out There", "Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda", and "Abe 
Lincoln"  also think about a concept for drama.

Started class talking about our (two previously written) business letters:
 1. Persuasive
 2. Bad News

Dr. Adams went over the format (block format) that we are supposed to use. This format is the most common business letter format:

From top of page, go down 3 spaces.

In left justified format, 

Address
City, State, Zip
Date (which you get from going to Insert and clicking on Date&Time)

Go down another 3 spaces

Name of person you are writing
Company (if you have one)
Address
City, State, Zip

Skip one space and add a subject line: Re: #12234 (if you have one). If you don’t have a subject line, then add the greeting at this time. If you have the title of the person (Mr., Dr., Prof., Ms.), then use it. If you are unsure of the title (for example--unclear gender), omit or search until you are sure. Don't use "to whom it may concern" if you can possibly avoid it. 

Skip one more space, after the greeting, and start the body portion of the letter. Keep the body left justified. DO NOT INDENT. 

All paragraphs should remain left justified throughout the body. At close, leave on space between last paragraph and the closing line (i.e. sincerely). 

After sincerely, go down four spaces (so a signature will fit), and end with 

Your Name
Title

If your letter exceeds one page, you must use a header that shows a page number. You can get this by clicking on View, choosing Header&Footer, and in a right justified format, type in your name and page number.

If you have included another piece of information with your letter, you must type (at the bottom of the page) either:

• Enclosure or
• Attachment (if it is stapled).

After going over letter format, the class discussion turned to focus on the plays (we were supposed to read) in three genres. This discussion led to a format to share our own ideas about good play material. You can find this material in:

• The news
• The Internet (example: www.disgruntledhousewife.com or 
• Taking from life experience
•  Combining stories
•  Past stories we can some transform, and so on.

On Tuesday, we should have a concept and some form of character development with us.

Week 14

Class Absences: Those who were absent today are lucky because Dr. Adams did not take attendance.

Homework: Dr. Adams returned profiles, if you have not turned one in yet she would like it by next Tuesday. She would also like to have the Good News and Bad News letters by Tuesday.

Profiles: Have consisten-tense when writing profiles. 
When quoting - use he said, she said. Need to show the statement belongs to someone. Commas and periods are placed inside quotes, while semi-colons and colons are placed outside of quotes. As a general rule, use last name in subsequent references to someone, not first names or titles. Look out for comma splices.

Today 04/19/01: Drafed plays. Remember, everytime a new character enters or exits, make a new scene. Make a list of scenes and begin writing.
Include two major characters, three at the most and a few minor characters. Create conflict, it CANNOT be narrative. Everything has to be revealed through dialog. 

Homework for next class: Dr. Adams requests that we have rough drafts for peer review.
No computer lab Tuesday; we will meet in the classroom.

Week 15

Week16

Week 17